Frustration

Posted on February 1, 2011 by lollabu

Again we’re fighting. Yes again; and I
Don’t know why we are this time. All I know
Is it’s not fair the way you that you can go
And use my weakness against me. I cry;
But even then I try to hide the pain.
It never works the way it should – you see
Through my disguise. Because you just know me
So well. I love you – still, we fight again.

Yet when I turn to walk away from you,
You look at me with angry pain, and say
“Why must you hurt me once again?” The way
You say it makes me stop. I can’t hurt you
Again – though wait? I’m lost. Aren’t those my words?
You fling them back at me. My unjust words.

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Pain

Posted on April 4, 2007 by lollabu
Pain
 
 
 
My tears will fall no more for those who have caused me pain. The shards of my heart have been sieved through my throat, and forced through my eyes. The clear gems that have formed there have fallen on deaf ears, and ignorant minds. My pain will stay inside, until it twists around; coiling like the snake that has bitten me and poisoned my heart.
My anger will be the lightening through a tearless storm, and thunderous words will echo in the abysmal emptiness which fills this void I once called my heart.

No one will be unharmed by it. Not even me; and so the anger feeds that pain from which it springs – and my circle of bitterness, like a ripening lemon, grows.
One day it will collapse in on me; and on that day you will remember the first shard of my heart, that fell from my blinded eyes onto your cheek.
Maybe then you will learn the power of my love – my heart – my soul; and maybe then you will regret all you have cast away – all the gems that I gave, all the wonders that I held in me – gone forever.

 

 

 

 

While this isn’t a poem, it was one of the most heart renching peices to write, and read again when I found it.

This was written quite some time ago, during a time of depression, and heart brake.

 

If this reflects how you feel, message me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Shelly

Posted on February 3, 2007 by lollabu

Shelly’s Poem  by Lauren Bland

 

Mummy’s looking tired still

She says she can’t sleep

I know how she feels at night

I don’t make a peep

 

It’s always late when the car arrives

But I hear it every time:

The slam of the door, the drunken slurr;

It’s seared into my mind

 

Suddenly my heart starts to race as the keys turn

in the front door – so scary

Have to breath real slow, real low, quiet too –

pretending I’m asleep already

 

Foot steps on the stairs, I can tell where he is by the creak

That marks the seventh step from my door

Time to squeeze my eyes tight, hug my teddy closer, try hard

Not to shiver – time to put on the show.

 

He’ll open that door again tonight, like the nights before,

Look in and whisper to me

"Baby? You awake?" then listen hard for an answer.

Maybe I’ll roll over, so he can’t see

 

My teeth chattering, my nose flare.

Or maybe sigh, or snore.

Sometimes he catches me out though,

He’s done it twice before.

 

Sandra showed me how to sleep

So dad didn’t come in

She said the things he’d done

To us was such a sin

 

But I hope one day

Mummy will see

I know she’s awake –

She’ll rescue me

 

But tonight, Daddy,

Please do not

Come to me, Daddy,

It’s too hot

 

It’s not Like you said.

It hurts me.

I don’t want you to

play with me…

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Say My Name

Posted on November 18, 2006 by lollabu

Say My name

 

When my tears begin to fall

And you’re name I start to call

And I feel I’ve lost it all

Say my name

When my wings both are torn

When I lay here all forlorn

When my masks have all been worn

      Say my name

When my world falls in on me

And you’re the only thing I see

When there’s nothing left to be

             Say my name

When you see me start to smile

When I’ve had to run a mile

When you’ve given me a while

                      Say my name

When you’ve listened to my song

When I’ve told you I was wrong

And you’ve held me all night long

                               Say my name

And it’ll be alright again

We’ll go walking in the rain

Things will never be the same…

                                        J ust say my name…

Just remembered this was on this computer. Love this poem. I suppose it’s really prevelent since my ‘boyfriend’ hasn’t spoken to me in so god damned long.

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Ridiculous

Posted on September 23, 2006 by lollabu

Ridiculous

 

Illegible

 -That’s what they said

When they found the note

And he was dead.

 

Disastrous

 -To die in bed

With a big knife sticking

Out you’re head

 

Unhealthy

 -It was declared

In the graved yard when

They found you there

 

Ridiculous

 -That’s all is it?

To expect someone

To read this shit.

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Jade

Posted on September 23, 2006 by lollabu

I wrote this for Jade, ’cause she wanted one hehe. It’s a bit amaturish, but I think it says how i feel pretty nice, so =)

 

 

Jade

 

The pretty one in the corner

 

Jade.

 

The one who smiles all day

 

Jade.

 

The fun one with bad jokes

 

Jade.

 

The friend everyone should have

 

Jade.

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Smile :D

Posted on September 23, 2006 by lollabu

Smile

 

– Smile – because it’s happy,

It makes you glow

And shine

 

– Smile again;

Worth while as it is to frown, smiling

Makes you’re eyes crinkle

And hides

The wrinkles.

 

 – Smile

        You know you want to

 

– Laugh,

It’s the sound of a smile

(For the benefit of the blind)

 

– Be happy;

If only once each day.

Those moments will comfort you

When the smiles have faded,

Lost their shine, and gilded

 

– Look back on good times,

So as to look forwards

To more.

 

 

 

 

I love this poem.   makes me want to smile all day.

 

I wrote this poem to cheer me up, and it did. I hope it made you smile too =)

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Jump the Broom

Posted on September 23, 2006 by lollabu

Jump the Broom

 

 Rings; and rings of people

Stood round us, watching,

Hoping, needing

Something special to happen.

 

I’m struck dumb by their expectance

 

Nothing seems enough,

And yet, I suppose

I have to try –

Try my best;

 

Still I’m stuck, holding my breath

 

Then he smiles, and I forget

The hundred people or so

Come to watch us make

The biggest mistake of our lives…

 

… Or the most happy decision.

 

And suddenly, it’s all over;

And all that’s left is

Fizzing happiness and

A party to enjoy.

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Bum Fluff

Posted on September 23, 2006 by lollabu

Bum Fluff

 

Bum fluff

 

It’s the stuff that’s found

Between you’re ears

Where a brain was

In you’re early years

 

Bum fluff

 

It’s like the stuff

That’s in you’re belly

Button at the end

Of the day – but smelly

 

Bum fluff

 

Between you’re ears

Between you’re cheeks

 

Bum fluff

 

 – The stuff of dreams

 

 

 

Just so you know, I’m fully aware that bum fluff is a guys first growth of beard – it just sounds so funny, I just had to write this one!!

 

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Empath

Posted on September 23, 2006 by lollabu

Empath

 

I’m an empath,

D’ya know what that means?

Every tear you shed

Runs down my cheek

                                

I’m an empath,

D’ya know how that feels?

Like a fist of suffering

Balled in my chest

Screaming at me –

It Kills

 

I’m an empath,

D’ya know what that’s like?

When the worlds pain

Keeps you up at night

 

I’m an empath,

D’ya know what I do?

I cry, and I scream

And I laugh, and I cry

And I truly understand

‘Cause I go through it

With you

 

I’m an empath,

D’ya know what I’d give?

To have no one hurt

So that I could live…

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